There’s a saying: “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.”
So start owning it. Your accomplishments. Your failures. Your personality flaws. Your entire life. Each and every one of those things belongs to you.
Alphas thrive on getting better, and that means surrounding yourself with people who call you out on your own bullshit. Alphas take responsibility for their failures and their mistakes. They don’t provide excuses, they provide apologies. Then they take action to make sure those things never happen again.
I’m going to give you a little insight into the mind of an AlphaBitch™. What keeps us pushing along in the face of adversity, failure, and other people’s naysaying on a daily basis. How we maintain that confidence and assertiveness.
One of the most important parts of an Alpha’s intensity, drive, and ability to not care what other people think involves learning to “own it.”
The Alpha Mindset is All About Owning It.
This means owning up to everything you do. Your successes, your accomplishments, the best parts of your personality, sure. But most importantly, the things you haven’t accomplished yet, that time you really screwed up, and all those times you come up short.
You screwed up? Admit it. Apologize. Fix it. And don’t do it again (if you can help it). Because there’s nothing worse than someone who says “I’m sorry,” and then proceeds to make the same mistake over and over. My husband has a tendency to do this and it drives me crazy. This type of behavior makes me not trust anything he says. Or at least I warn him that’s what’ll eventually happen…
“Owning it” is essential in lots of scenarios.
Didn’t get that job? That’s on you. Own your failure and then try harder next time.
That person didn’t acquiesce to your request? Think back on your behavior and communications with them and see why it didn’t work out for you.
Business idea didn’t pan out? Admit it to your supporters, trash the idea if it’s terrible, fix the flaws if it’s salvageable, and move forward.
Hurt someone’s feelings? Well, unless they’re being an overdramatic princess (and yes, okay I cop to doing this sometimes), you should probably apologize. You get the idea…
Should You Really Apologize?
Admitting your mistakes and apologizing when you’re wrong doesn’t mean you’ll let any sort of negative vampire energy into your life. It just means you’re being honest instead of making excuses for your actions. And you’re learning from them. That’s an essential part of “owning it.”
Whether something does or doesn’t happen for you in life, accept ownership over how you created that situation. Don’t blame others for your failures. Don’t play the victim. Sure, allow yourself time to sulk if you need it. Feel bad for a minute. Cry if you must. But don’t dwell on it for too long. What’s the point in that? Pick yourself back up, pull yourself up by your bootstraps, do your damage control, and decide what you’re gonna do next.
Then go out and make it happen. Ask yourself, “What now?” What can you do differently in the future to make things go your way? To make things fall into place? Big or small, what do you want to do now?
Then proceed headlong in that direction with no worries about what other people think of you, your failures, or your future plans. You might’ve had to apologize or admit defeat or even grovel a bit (if you’ve really screwed up or done something stupid). But that doesn’t mean you’re not still an Alpha. Have your goals, keep your eyes on the prize, and screw all those other people’s opinions.
To help you maintain your Alpha mindset and continue owning it, just keep repeating this wise little mantra that my Grandmother Pat used to say: “What other people think of me is none of my business.” Keep your head down and your blinders on. Sure, you’re allowed to care what your close friends think when you make a mistake or fail flamboyantly, but don’t bother caring about what random people think of you. They don’t pay your mortgage.
Keep owning your actions, and keep moving forward.