I want to keep you updated on all things South Florida comedy around here, so I thought I’d start by doing some interviews with a few of my favorite local comedians. Here’s my first one: An interview with South Florida comedian Mary C. Smith. Keep an eye out for more!

THE BASICS:

When did you first start comedy?

2012

Out of all the clubs that have existed and gone out of business in the last several years, what was your favorite place to perform? What was the best place to perform?

I love all of them – some more than others, but no real faves. I like The Backroom Comedy Club, Artistic Vibes, and 33rd Street Wine Bar.

How do you think the South Florida comedy scene could improve?

More women running rooms.

What do you think the South Florida comedy scene has that’s good but not available anywhere else?

Not even the cocaine. I think there are a lot of bonds and friendships that are probably heavier just because our scene is minuscule in comparison to LA or NYC.

Do you believe that as comedians get good they leave South Florida?

I would hope so. This Miami scene ain’t for everyone.  

What shows that aren’t in traditional clubs do you think elevate the comedy scene?

I like Yo Space. Yuval always keeps things fresh and is a delight to work with.  

THE INTERVIEW:

Do you like other comics?

Sometimes. Of course, there’s a vibe and a creative process that comes with sitting in a room with ten people waiting to hit the mic.  But no, it’s not a thing I do. My friends are all civilians.

The people I go to dinner with or have drinks with – none of them are comedians. Probably because hanging out with comedians is exhausting. The riffing, the constant writing and having to be on. Sometimes I have to turn it off. Doing 60 hours a week and comedy 20 hours a week doesn’t leave a whole lot of time to just chill out. I try to keep personal life separate.

Unfortunately, comedy is the first thing to be knocked off the schedule when I’m under pressure for deadlines. But for the pressure I suffer at work, there are always some golden comedy nuggets that come out of it.

I’m a little bit older than most other comedians. I’m tired. So I have to kill it because I’m on stage one time for everyone else’s five times. I don’t have the luxury to do more than a few mics a week so I have to make sure I kill it once a week.

When did you first decide to be a stand-up comic?

About six years ago, I went to try and buy tickets to a Jim Breuer show.

But instead of buying tickets, I started doing the Comedy 101 class. And I kept doing it. People kept telling me I was following my dream, but that’s not really it. Everyone has told me I was funny my whole life.

You have 13 siblings. How did that prepare you for comedy life?

How did it not prepare me? My parents were big on “if you want to cry, go to your room – no one wants to see that here.” So if you can entertain, you can do whatever you want. It was for attention. When you have 13 siblings to compete with, you come up with good zingers every day.

Where do you see the South Florida comedy scene going? Is it likely to grow or disappear?

It’s never going to disappear. It’s going to evolve and change and snap back to where it was to ten years ago, but the competition is too fierce. With sunshine, naked girls, and cocaine, why would you go to a comedy club? There are too many distractions so it will always have a low-vibration murmur in Miami. Good enough for me. I get my facetime when I ask. Works for me.

We spoke before about who you think are the most talented comedians in South Florida comedy, like Freddy Stebbins and Dave Stebbins. Is there anybody else out there you like in comedy?

Right now, Janelle James in NYC, Tim Dillon, and Pete VeAbraus are grinding it like no one’s business. Someone told me that I reminded her of Janelle James and it’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever gotten. Petey DeAbreu. I’m a big fan of the local yokels doing it worldwide like Forrest Shaw and Lando Leyba. I’m always rooting for them. Kathy Madigan has been on my list of my favorites.

Where is your favorite place to perform in the South Florida comedy scene? Did you ever perform at National Lampoon or Fort Lauderdale Comedy Club? Ray Combs?

All really hard rooms right now. The one thing I can say about the Miami comedy scene is if it doesn’t make you a better comic you should quit because the rooms do not give a shit that you are on the microphone. Backroom Comedy Club is a decent room and I do well there. Taurus is really hard. It’s a really tough mic.

How do you deal with guys sexual harassing you in the scene and handling inappropriate stuff?

I get asked this a lot. I never feel bad. I’ve always found I’m given same opportunities as someone else. Men are very respectful and very kind to me. The scene has gotten better but not easier – not more fun.

What is your favorite joke? Do you remember the first joke you ever told on stage?

All of my favorite jokes revolve around my family and they’re my best jokes. Looking back at what I wrote when I first started, my shit was so hacky it’s embarrassing. The most natural and biggest laughs are when I talk about the things I’m most honest and vulnerable about. The ugly stuff. Being the youngest of fourteen kids. The first joke I told on stage was about my ex-husband.  

Who is your favorite comedian? Who are some comedians you admire?  

All the funny chicks of the day: Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, and all the pioneers and trailblazers for female comedians. And Whoopi Goldberg. I remember watching Whoopi on stage playing six different characters. I didn’t want to be a comedian but I was always a humorous writer who wrote poignant stories.

Did you ever make a full-time living from comedy? How come you never moved to NYC or LA? Do you think you need to?

No, I have a day job as well. I never really tried to do it full time. And yes, you do need to move.

What are the failures that you most cherish? 

My divorce, which I thought of as a failure at the time. Now it’s a triumph. Going through in-vitro and having it not work and the fertility treatments and thanking g-d it didn’t work. When I was going through it, it was horrible.

If you could go back five years, what advice would you give your younger self? 

Start packing. Don’t drink so much. Don’t smoke so much. Keep writing jokes. Just keep writing. I would have been further along if I applied myself.

Is it better to be extraordinary and late, or good and on time? 

On time and don’t be late.

What are you most curious about in life? 

If I am ever going to fall in love again.

What is the most courageous thing you have done in your life? 

Just following my path. I hate when people say that I’m brave or courageous for getting divorced and leaving millions of dollars – but it hurt.

What is the book or books you’ve given most as a gift and three books that have greatly influenced your life?

I give Nora Ephron books as gifts most of the time. Joan Rivers’s book Last Girl Before Freeway is a great gift for anyone, not just for comics. I give a lot of self-help books that have helped me. A Course in Miracles and Simple Abundance by Marianne Williamson. Those two made me work through shit I didn’t want or didn’t feel I needed to until I finished both of them.

Best purchase of under $100?

Definitely an eighth of weed.

Has a failure or apparent failure set you up for later success?

No. What set me up for later success was me. Those things like divorce are not an extension of me. Those things I have in my life are ‘cause I put them there.

If you could have a gigantic billboard anywhere with anything, what would it say?

No words, just pictures of my face. I don’t have a message for the masses.

What is the best or most worthwhile investment you’ve ever made? In money or time or energy?

Definitely scaling back on savage tendencies at work and spending more time with family and friends. I’m a workaholic.

What is an unusual habit or an absurd thing that you love?

Pop music. It’s my guilty pleasure. I will listen to my Hannah Montana.

In the last five years, what new belief or habit has most improved your life?

It’s huge. I started meditating almost five years ago – 10 minutes a day and now I meditate up to two hours a day. It’s changed my life exponentially and allowed people to survive.

What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about to enter the real world?

No advice to give anyone there. Grinning her way on her own for 35 years. If you fail to plan, plan to fail. You need a plan.

What are the bad recommendations you hear in your profession?

“Keep going.”

Just quit. I tell everyone to stop. Bad recommendations are when you’re trying to inspire someone to continue doing something they are terrible at. In other words, don’t lie to people.