Remaining Calm Throughout Your Nervous Breakdown

Buddha with StarbucksZen is a state of mind determined not by what you do, but rather how you react to what is done. The world is a place of entropy and disorder. Making peace with this and learning to insulate yourself from the disorder is what it means to achieve enlightenment and, eventually, Zen.


The easiest and most accessible way to begin your journey toward Zen is through the simple act of POSITIVE VISUALIZATION. The external world is a place of unpredictability, but your interpretation of it is entirely up to you. Through positive visualization, here is what you can achieve:

  • Knowing that it’s the weight of negativity you’re throwing against the wall, not a full cup of hot coffee with Splenda instead of Stevia.
  • Seeing yourself as an empowered warrior, one who is conquering a society that has treated you unfairly, not conquering a barista, the way everyone else currently sees you.
  • Once you are able to visualize your truth, you’ll feel as if you’re being carried by your loyal subjects in the back of your royal chariot, not into a police car amid TMZ reporters.

As you willingly give your fingerprints to the All Time Perfect DNA Repository so that you may be cloned to guide future generations (in a cell with others who have also mastered positive visualization), rest assured that true Zen will come soon.

Alpha Bitch… Namaste.

Tour Dates

Latest Articles


Best Comedian of 2023

Vote for Lindsay Glazer as Best Comedian in the Las Vegas Weekly’s Best of 2023 Awards